1. What would it look like to keep the elopement a secret? Is keeping it a secret something we want to do? Realistic, even?
The whole point of eloping is swearing it to secrecy. And don’t think about telling even one person! If you tell your sister or best friend, it’s fair to assume they might have told other people. If you have a difficult time keeping secrets––especially your own, maybe this isn’t the marriage route for you. But on the other hand, it might be fun to keep this secret from other people. A hot, juicy secret that’s only between you and your man.
For us, we decided to keep our elopement a complete secret”¦ from everyone! Even though our parents knew we wanted to tie the knot someday, we decided to not even let them in on our quick marriage plans. They were aware that we threw out our destination wedding plans, but had no idea of our alternative idea.
TIP: Consider if you want to tell both your parents before or after. If you can’t deal with the idea of letting your parents down, maybe you should tell them beforehand. For example, if they’ll feel betrayed from staying in the dark, secrecy probably isn’t the best option. On the other hand, if they’ll be joyous and happy you two decided to get married, (even if they find out later) then by all means, don’t tell them till afterwards!
2. Should we keep it low key and budget friendly? Or styled and fancy?
This will more so depend on your budget. But still, always something to consider, question, and research. Will the elopement entail a courtroom wedding and hitting the the available food trucks on the street afterwards? Will the elopement mirror a beach wedding with a ""="" rel="noopener noreferrer">palm leaf bouquet and barefoot attire?
Straying away from a traditional wedding, we maintained a low-key and budget friendly approach. Our personal styles and preferences brought us to dodging suits and a fancy wedding dress, and instead, wearing casual clothing that allowed us to dip into the ocean afterwards. Toes tucked beneath the sand, sweat pouring from our brow, sun sinking below the vibrant horizon, we laid without a care in the world.
TIP: Keep in mind that your elopement can be like any traditional wedding, minus the guests. Stick with something that feels right to you. You have no one to impress, only your inner inclinations that you so desire. If you’re picturing a glitzy gown with a million beads, go for it! If you’re dreaming of rocking a bright yellow dress, do it! Nobody will be there to critique or voice their opinions.
3. Who will be our photographer?
Hiring a photographer is always a big decision. You want someone who is trusted, talented, and will be blend well in the background”¦ someone who is there to capture your wedding day as how it is. But if you’re eloping the next day, for example, who is going to be there to freeze those elopement memories in time, beautifully?
Since our family and friends weren’t going to be there when we eloped, it was even more important to us to have a professional artistically capture our elopement. I was originally planning on bringing along one close friend to take photos but then I decided I wanted to have nice pictures; ultimately I hired a professional take them instead. Having the photos, we were then able to host a reception back home and showcase our special memories. We are so thankful we did!
TIP: If you’re eloping somewhere that isn’t home, make sure that when you’re looking for a photographer to ask if there are any travel fees included.
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4. What details do we want to incorporate?
No matter how you get married, there are always details to assemble into place. Even if you decide you’ll do your own hair and makeup, that’s still a detail that you have to think about. If you’re going to hire any outside people, this is the time to sit down and decide. But ultimately, it narrows down to what you prefer and want to incorporate. But never do you have to feel the need to incorporate the traditional details. It can all be scenic or you can add small touches with an arch, florals, candles, or vases.
Or nothing at all, like us. To match our preferences, we only included the skin and bones”¦.well, you know what I mean. I showed up on the beach; my husband showed up on the beach; the pastor showed up on the beach. We got married. That’s all we wanted and felt we needed.
TIP: Not a planner? No worries––you can still hire a ""="" rel="noopener noreferrer">destination wedding planner to help, especially if you’re eloping somewhere far. All the planning and figuring out the details don’t have to fall on you.
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Okay, so now you’ve gone through that list of my questions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and are torn––take a deep, deep breath and keep reading. It’s time to weigh out the pros and cons. This will really help you sort through your jumbled thoughts and will breath a refreshing calm into your system.
THE PROS TO ELOPING
1. You and your fiancé can make decisions solely on your own preferences. You have the opportunity of not having to accommodate other people’s preferences or needs. It’s only about you guys.
2. If you know people who object to your wedding plans, you don’t have to tell them until it’s all been said and done.
3. Eloping can be budget friendly or very fancy. You can easily opt out of writing big checks out since it’ll just be the two of you.
4. You can elope and be on your honeymoon all at the same time, which can save you money on extra travel expenses. A win-win!
THE CONS TO ELOPING
1. Some of your family and friends might feel betrayed or hurt that they weren’t included on your big day.
2. You might have to consider throwing a reception for family and friends to avoid any hurt feelings.
3. You will miss out on other photos like first looks with your parents, dancing with parents and guests, and getting ready with a bridal party.
Now that you’ve read my pros and cons, I would recommend whipping out your own pen and notebook and penciling your own list. Getting all your thoughts on paper will help sort out this big decision, hopefully clarifying what you should––and want to––do.
If you have any pros, cons, or questions you have added to your list, I would love to hear them in the comment section below.